Hey what's up.

I don't really talk a lot, so this page is kind of pointless. I was going to do one of those "about" pages, but that's what this whole website is for. I don't know what else I could tell you that's not already on these pages. Maybe that my right finger is all screwed up and won't close all the way? Or once I got ran into by what I thought was – another person. Turns out it was just a mirror. Oh, and I kind of like bees, and also find dog faces really hard to draw. Do dogs even have a face? It's kind of just the elements: giant snout and some eyes. I wouldn't really call that a face. Unless it's one of those dogs where the nose kind of goes inwards. Then...maybe that's a face? Speaking of faces, cats creep me out. I'm sorry if you're a cat person, but it's true. You know how you can be sitting there, minding your own business, then a cat jumps at your face for no reason? Does anyone else think the 80s had great music and movies?

PHONE: I don't answer my phone anymore.

EMAIL: jeremyhlinak@gmail.com

PORTFOLIO: this website

FAX: I used to have a free fax line I got as a joke. I'll try to find it for you. Until then, take some time and go through all the sketchbooks.

Anyway, with the addition of the time I tried to eat a box of Nilla wafers in 30 minutes (I failed — took 42 minutes), that's all I have to say. Although I would say "contact me," but you won't. (If you do though, that's pretty cool.)

— J

p.s. I got second place in my first-grade class's spelling bee. I wonder why it's called a "bee." Here we go again about bees. Why do I keep bringing bees up? I should probably stop because this is getting awkward.

p.p.s. Do you ever have one of those days where you're either not hungry, or you just don't feel like making anything? I wished someone would've invented a snow-ball sized lunch where you didn't have to do anything. Kind of like a bao, but without the heating up/burning palm issues. Oh, and it was only made of vitamins and "nutrients," yet tasted like an Italian Beef Sandwich or one of those Snickers ice cream bars.

p.p.p.s. Sorry again about all that bee talk back there.

That's me on the left. It kind of looks like I was eating Skittles, got struck by lightning, then gave a pity-smile to my friend Derek who just told a below-average joke. But he's standing next to that girl he likes, so I feel bad making fun of him. Oh, and then someone took my picture after that exact moment.